Take A Chance…

Bet you are wondering what I’m going on about. Well…. I have you know that part two of Second Chances is now published. It’s titled All That She Wants. Yes, it was named after the Ace of Base song. I truly hope you enjoy it! Just clicky-click-click on the picture below to take you to it!

All That She Wants-2Have a great weekend!

M4T

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First Part Of Second Chances Is Up!

Hiya!!

Can you believe I am actually posting something already? I actually had a chance to sit down and go back and read through the first section of the story I mentioned in yesterday’s post. I had done some editing before I submitted it to Fandom4Autism, but I still felt a little tweaking was needed I’ve read through it twice and I think it is about as good as will ever be. I hate editing my own work. I can do other people’s with no problem, but find myself overly critical when I do my own. Okay, I admit it – I am a little insecure when it comes to my writing and have a massive fear that I suck at it. But hey, I am not perfect! I just do the best I can and have to accept it. I know there are probably mistakes in my work, even after I edited it and worked on it more than once. I love my story, Reflections – but cringed at some parts of it and at some of the lengthy paragraphs when I recently re-read it. However, that was my first published story and I just don’t have the heart to go back and fix it. So that one will stay as it is. All I can do is hope I get better at both writing and editing. I just have to realize that I am not perfect, and I am by no means a pro at this. Writing is just something I do that I enjoy.

That said, I truly do hope you enjoy the new story. Second Chances is the name of the story and it’s first part is titled Bat Out of Hell. Click on the picture below to take you to it and please leave a comment and let me know what you think! Happy reading!

xoxo,

M4T

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I’m Back….

…to let you know I can really shake ’em down!

Now that I have “Do You Love Me?” stuck in your head, let’s hope I got your attention! 🙂  As stated in the title – I’m back. And no, not in the creepy Poltergeist way. I am writing again. *Cue the fanfare, rim shots, and drum rolls*

What can I say? It makes me happy to be back at the keyboard and to be tap, tap, tapping away. I am still having issues, but the days are less stormy and I am starting to see some sunshine. It is not to say the storm has completely passed…there are still days where I sit here at my desk and stare blankly at the screen trying to formulate a sentence while the muse whispers plot bunnies and one-liners in my ear. Then again, there are days where I become consumed with a scene or idea and the flow of words passes through my fingers and onto the page. The feeling to create something is indescribable and it brings me joy when it happens.

As much as I enjoy reviews and accolades for my writing, I have discovered that writing is something I really love doing for myself – for my own amusement. Though, I have to say that being able to share my stories with you and see people actually enjoy what my little brain conjures up (which Mr. Muse takes full credit for, by the way) makes me smile. I recently went back and reread my old stories and the reviews/comments left there; both here and on Fanfiction.net. Those kind words are priceless to me and warms my soul. They also give me the drive to finish the stories I have started and the urge to keep writing.

I can’t promise weekly updates as of yet, but I can promise you that updates will be coming soon and that you may see some new one-shots and short stories featuring other fandoms. I won’t deny that I thoroughly enjoy The Vampire Diaries fandom and that I truly love writing Damon. But you knew that, right?

However, I am planning on dipping into other fandoms. Some you may be familiar with, such as The Lost Boys, Charmed, Buffy, and Angel. The others, such as White Collar, you may not be.

I have decided that my Charmed one-shot, A Kind of Magic will be most likely a two-parter. I’ve been working on that and I think it’s near completion. The muse on that one isn’t sure which direction to take it. So, the first part will be edited and posted sometime soon. The second part will be posted once its finished.

I am halfway through a one-shot I started on ages ago. It’s an Angel/Bella story and that’s called Love Don’t Live Here Anymore. I won’t reveal too much of the plot other to say its rather melancholy – but the story is about life and the choices we make. Toss in evil, Wolfram & Hart, The Powers That Be, some tragedy, love and well….its a story that stuck in my head and had to be told. Plus, there will be Spike. Need I say more? Oh, and my favorite green demon will be featured, too…

I have also worked quite a bit on Ties That Bond and I think the next chapter to that is almost finished. I am hoping that will be up sometime within the next month. Keep in mind that I am working on my stories as they come to me. I worked on Spirits in the Mist last week. I already had the next two chapters to that done, but Bella demanded to be heard, so I had to rework some things to accommodate that and  the next chapter will be from her point of view. Her voice is quite a bit different from Damon’s and writing her at that point of time is quite challenging. In my other stories, she had/has already gotten completely over Edward, or was/is on the road to it. She either knows her place in the world or she is on the brink of discovering it. In this story, she is slowly recovering, but the wounds are still there, and to add to it, she’s in love with a vampire ghost. She has a lot to say, though…

I have wrote four pages of the next chapter to Not Enough Time, but that pesky thing called writer’s block has me stalled on it. I know what I want to happen and how I want the chapter to end – just tying it all together is leaving me befuzzled. I’ll let the muse work that one out and come back to it…

I have not touched The Devil Inside, yet. But I do have ideas for it, and need to muddle through them in my head before I start on it. I have no idea when that will be.

My head has been consumed mostly with my one-shots and I’ve been working on them. It’s good practice to write them for me because they have the beginning, middle, and the end all in one go and I don’t have to delve too heavily on the plot. The one that is really screaming at me is a Damon/Bella story tilted, Shades of the Past.  There are a couple others, but I am not sure if those will ever see the light of day. We shall see, eh?

As I mentioned above, I do have ideas for other fandoms and will be working on those as they come to me. I will update my current stories when I can and post my one-shots when I have them all ready to go.

This weekend, I will be posting a story that started as a one-shot for Fandom4Autism and it has grown to a four-parter. I haven’t written the final chapter to it yet, but the first part was donated to Fandom4Autism and I can now put it up here and on Fanfiction.net. I have some doctor’s appointments and my son has some appointments to go to, as well. So, if I can get the time to do one more read through of it and WordPress is in a cooperative mood, I will have the first part up for you by the weekend. That story is called Second Chances. I will put a small snippet at the end of this post, along with the header for it.

I am still battling with depression and anxiety, among other health-related issues, so please keep in mind that while I am dipping my toes back into writing and updating once again, it won’t be on a regular basis and it won’t be on a schedule. But I am back and it’s oh, so good to be here. Thank you to those of you who have reached out to me with your messages of support, good vibes and love. Your kind words mean more than you’ll ever know.

Xoxo,

Mommy4Thomas

As promised, here is the story header for Second Chances and a small snippet!

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Bella’s eyes widened, “And just how long will your blood be in my system, Damon? I don’t want to be a vampire.”

He tilted his head side to side as if in thought, “Usually, it takes about 24 hours to get out of a human’s system; but you…had a lot. So, I’d say it’d probably take about a week, give or take…”

She gasped at the thought and looked at him, “Seriously?”

He chuckled, shrugging. “Seriously!” he mocked. His mouth formed into yet another smirk, “Here’s a tip…don’t die! That is, unless you change your mind about the whole undead thing. Otherwise, we’d just have to find a vein for you to tap. Viola! Brand new baby vamp!” He then snapped his fingers while she glared at him.

“How can you be so blasé about dying and living for eternity?” Bella asked, with incredulity in her voice.

He pursed his lips, “Easy! I didn’t have much choice in the matter…”

She shook her head and wondered for a moment exactly what his statement meant. She glanced anxiously towards her bag and was rather stunned he had actually went to the truck and retrieved it for her. More like stole it, she thought. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, but she just knew he wouldn’t give any answers, at least not directly.

Damon saw her peeking at the bag and took the phone and the menu from her hands. “Go get a shower and I’ll see to breakfast.”

She arched her eyebrow at his demand, but said nothing. She got up from the bed, tugging at the ends of the t-shirt to make sure everything was covered.

He snickered, “Oh, stop that! I saw it all last night, sweetheart. Believe me, there’s nothing there I haven’t seen before!”

She placed her hands on her hips and with a huff of annoyance asked him, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re an ass?”

He smiled, “Maybe…once or twice.” He then winked cheekily at her.

“Well, you are!” she replied snappishly, deciding to blatantly ignore him while she dug through her bag to get her clothes.

His expression was rather amused as she stomped past him, heading towards the bathroom with her clothes in tow.

R.I.P. Jackie Collins

Jackie

I know I am on hiatus, but I felt that I had to come out and publically pay tribute to one of my most favorite authors, Jackie Collins. She was a true storyteller in every sense of the word. She often wrote about life around her and what she saw, only changing the names to “protect the not so innocent.” She created two of my favorite literary characters; Gino Santangelo, and his daughter, Lucky.

Gino was a typical street punk in 1930’s New York City who got into boot legging and gambling, becoming a notorious gangster and an all-around ladies’ man. He was smart and knew the art of survival in the criminal world. A man with a heart of gold that wouldn’t dare go into the more seedy things such as prostitution and drugs. He had morals – to a point. However, he was quite charming and you couldn’t help but love him.The first book followed his rise to power and the takeover of the “family business” by his twenty year old daughter, Lucky. She inherited her father’s street smarts and business acumen. Eventually, she turned everything legit and ended up buying a movie studio, then went on to build hotels. She was a true feminist and was a firm believer that women could do anything.

The books started in 1977 when feminism wasn’t exactly popular, and it was practically unheard of to write steamy sex scenes in novels. Jackie was a trailblazer in writing such stories. She was also a master at creating such well-rounded characters. She often wrote what she knew about – Hollywood. Only changing the names to “protect the not so innocent.” It was always fun to read her books and figure out exactly who she based certain characters on. She once said, “I write about real people in disguise. If anything, my characters are toned down-the truth is much more bizarre.”

I discovered her books way back in high school (which was decades after the first book was published). The Santangelo family saga is a series that encompasses eight novels. The most recent book was published last year. I read it in less than a day. Jackie had a style of writing that truly brought her characters to life and her books were paced in a way that it made you keep reading and reading until you suddenly found yourself on the last page; still wanting more. When you opened one of her books, you never knew where the stories would go or what her characters would do. It was always a wild ride.

About an hour ago, I was on Yahoo and read reports of her death. I am so deeply saddened by the news. When I write, I often try to bring my characters to life as she did, and toss in surprises for my readers. SHE is the inspiration for that. Her character, Lucky, was the inspiration for the woman I wanted to be when I read the books as a teenager – a woman with moxie, style and class, and she did it all HER way.

I hope wherever Jackie is, that she is at peace and I hope that she knew how much she was loved by millions of fans the world over. Her books will always, always be cherished by me. My thoughts and prayers are with her family on this sad day. The literary world will never be the same.

This Is Not A Goodbye, It’s A See You Later…

It is not very often that I mention my personal life on this blog, but sometimes real life intervenes with my writing world. I have mentioned my anxiety because oftentimes it makes it difficult to focus and that’s not a good thing when you are writing.

I have also been having eating issues and difficulty swallowing food. It has been a rather difficult time for me and to add to it; I have had a visit from an old ‘friend.” His name is Mr. Depression.

He’s a ‘friend’ that has been in and out of my life since my early teens. He is definitely not someone I am too fond of, especially since he caused me to be suicidal on more than one occasion. He brings a dark cloud on my whole world, making my life very stormy. There have been times where he would disappear altogether and that dark storm would be gone and my world was brighter.

He started creeping back a few months ago and it seems that he has unpacked his bags and decided to stay awhile. It’s a daily battle to fight against him and the storms he creates, but I do know that there will be sunshine in the end.

I think some of it is creeping into my writing and it is not something I want to happen. Writing is something I started doing after I ended a five year battle with endometriosis. It was painful, it was discouraging at times and I had to make the wretched decision to have a hysterectomy at a somewhat young age. Coming to terms with the fact that I will never bear any more children weighed heavy on my heart, especially after I had a miscarriage two years prior.

I had been reading a lot of fanfiction to keep my mind off things and to help cope with Mr. Depression. As you can tell by the stories I write, there is a certain character that I just love and one day I picked up a notebook and wrote and wrote and wrote. That story still sits in the notebook and has yet to be published. But – it saved me from going off the deep end. Writing, my husband and my son were the light in my darkness.

About a year and a half ago, Kittyinaz hosted a writing contest on her site, and I decided to give it a try and entered Reflections. I never expected people to like it, or for it to even place third. It shocked me beyond belief. However, it gave me encouragement keep at it and eventually I started writing more stories that I publish on the blog I have here.

It makes me smile to see that people like my stories and warms my heart when they leave a kind review. Some of you may never know just how much your words have brightened my days. It has been a joy to see my site grow and to see my stories get longer bit by bit.

I have made many friends, thanks to the fanfiction world and it had been an honor and a privilege to know them. There are a few that have left a mark on my heart forever. I’m not going to name names. You know who you are and you know that I love you.

Unfortunately, writing is a double-edged sword at times. Honestly, I write for me, because it brings me joy. But I will be honest and say that when a story doesn’t seem to be well liked or my blog posts are ignored, it is a let down and it feeds Mr. Depression even more.

With that in mind, and after much thought, I have made the decision to put down the pen for now. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, believe me. I hate the thought of leaving those of you anxious for updates hanging and a part of me feels that it is irresponsible of me to simply walk away from my stories.

However, as I said before…I think the darkness is affecting my writing and at times I feel that I could do better, or that what I have published isn’t good enough. I do put my best foot forward when I write and I pour my whole heart into my characters and their world. The drive to write is still there, but there is a brick wall that prevents me from actually doing it, which is why I announced my hiatus before. I had hoped that the darkness would pass.

Unfortunately, it hasn’t. I have decided that putting everything on an indefinite hold would be better because I need time to take care of me and fight this battle until I see the light again. I know it will take a while because it its not my first go-round with Mr. Depression. I’ve kicked him to the curb before, and I will do it again. I’ve adopted Jared Padaleki’s motto, “Always Keep Fighting” and that’s exactly what I intend to do.

I bought a tee-shirt that says “I am here to kill demons and eat pie. I just finished my pie.” Well, Mr. Depression is my demon and I’m gonna kill him. While I am at it, I want to take care of me and focus on that and my family.

Until then, writing will have to wait. I promise you when the storm passes, and I see the light once again, I will pick up that pen and write until my wee little heart is content. I want to thank each and every one of you for every kind word you ever made when you commented on my stories or blog posts. I want to thank you for your support and your encouragement and I want to thank you for being a part of my little journey into fanfiction. I hope to meet with you  again soon.


M4T

It will Soon Be Time…

Hello Everyone!

I am working up on finishing up chapter five of Not Enough Time tonight, then I will be editing it. I am hoping I will have it up for you later today (it is after midnight now as I type this).

I think I will be working on Spirits in the Mist next. Mr. Muse has demanded a rewrite of the next chapter, so it may be a while before that one is up.

I’d like to remind you that I am on semi-hiatus due to some anxiety issues as well as some other health concerns. I appreciate your patience with my updates and I enjoy the lovely comments you all leave on my stories.

Speaking of comments, I received a very ugly-worded PM today regarding my story, The Devil Inside. While I appreciate constructive criticism and I truly don’t expect everything I write to be well received and enjoyed by everyone, I do wish that people be kind when voicing an opinion or thought about me, my writing or my storylines.

I try to be kind when I leave reviews on stories I enjoy reading. If there is a story I didn’t enjoy, I am not going to leave a comment or review to tear the author down. Coming from a writer’s perspective, I know that will only kill the muse and discourage the writer. I would never want to do that to anyone. I don’t think it is too much to ask the same in return.

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend! If I don’t get my new chapter up tomorrow, I promise a small teaser, at least. It’s my goal to publish it, but anxiety is often unpredictable.

See You Soon!

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