I’m Still Standing…


My Dear Readers,

I know it will be a shock to see a new blog post from me. Especially since it has been over a year since you’ve heard from me. I did not intend for my hiatus to be this long, I honestly didn’t. But as some of you may know, depression does not have a timetable. In December 2016, I was still in the midst of a depression cycle. There were some real-life struggles at the time with my little family that I do not wish to disclose. Though, I will say that even in the trying times; I could still see the light, and I truly believed I could withstand the storms. Let’s just say Hurricane Depression dropped down to a tropical storm.

Then after the New Year, a new storm hit. That my friends, I would compare to a category five hurricane. In fact, I was standing in the eye of the storm, my world calm and peaceful as chaos erupted all around me. Then the dark clouds came in, thunder roared and the rain washed me away. I will not go into details about what caused it, but I will say this: I was hurt deeply by people I loved dearly and lost them in the process. The pain was a lot to bear and when you mix that with depression, it makes one very dangerous cocktail. To say the least, I was not in a good spot.

I wanted to hide under the covers in my bed and wallow, I wanted to shut myself off from the world, I wanted the depression, the pain, and the sorrow to end. I wanted it to be over. I yearned for peace, yet the storm kept howling. I didn’t know if I’d survive this time. Yes, I know it sounds bleak, but that was my reality.

The night I wrote my blog post, I had a shattered soul. A small part of me wasn’t even sure if I would ever come back to writing, even though another part hoped I would. It took quite a few months for the pain to subside. Reading some stories, binge watching on Netflix, therapy, music, journaling, and tinkering in Photoshop helped a lot. It was then I saw glimpses of light. I also realized my anchor to this world was my son. My dear, sweet boy is the light of my life. His very existence is the reason I kept going, fighting the storms.

My husband deserves a lot of credit, too. He was an aircraft mechanic during his service to our country and what was broke, he fixed it. And that’s what he did with me. He took my shattered pieces and put them back together one by one. He tethered me to him during the storm and never once let go. Nor did he ever give up, even in moments I was so uncertain that I could wither the storm. He told me I could fight through it, that he loved me, that he was there for me, and made sure I took care of myself. Most of all, he believed in me and saw strength within me I didn’t know I had. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have him in my life. Though, I am damned glad I made that decision eighteen years ago to marry him. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will be eternally grateful to him for being there “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.”

I battled Depression and to quote Elton John, “I’m still standing.” I made it through the storm. I may not be the same person I once was, some of the twinkle in my eyes may be gone but essentially I am me, again.  I don’t really share my personal life with the world, but I thought perhaps sharing my story would be beneficial to someone else that may suffer from depression so they know that there is hope – a light at the end of the tunnel, if you will. If you are reading this and suffer from depression, I sincerely hope you keep fighting. It is a battle worth winning. Please know someone out there believes in you and knows you ARE strong enough to withstand the storm.

Now, with all that said…..

The reason I am posting today is to tell you that I started writing again around October/November. I had three chapters of Spirits In the Mist done, two one-shots almost completed, and did some work on Not Enough Time & Ties That Bond.  I also started a couple new stories. Needless to say, I was quite proud of myself, and the ever-picky Mr. Muse was pleased.

Well….that came to a screeching halt on Friday afternoon. I was working on a story and left the computer to let the dogs out. We had a power outage and it fried my hard drive. I lost everything in Microsoft Word and in Photoshop. Hubby tried to reboot the computer and it didn’t even make a sound when he turned it on. We both sat staring at an ominous black screen. We tried a few things to get it going again, but nothing worked. It was beyond saving. I am completely devastated about it…all those hours of work just gone forever.

I got a new computer for Christmas, and was in the process of deleting stuff I didn’t need or want, so when we transferred files I wouldn’t have to worry about having crap I didn’t want on the new computer.  This weekend was going to be the weekend I planned to transfer everything to an external drive. Also planned to back everything up online.  Ha! Just goes to show you what happens when I make plans, LOL.

Since my computer no longer has Word on it, I have nothing to type and save a document with. Microsoft Office is a hundred and fifty bucks, OR you can get it as a monthly subscription. The Photoshop program is a tad expensive, too. My son just celebrated his sixteenth birthday, and we had a bash to celebrate. My wallet is quite a bit lighter after paying for the aforementioned bash and presents. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but unfortunately that means I can’t afford to have things like Word and Photoshop, right now.

I took the hard drive frying as a big, bright neon sign from the Universe to just give up on fanfiction. I had every intention of coming on here and announcing that I was simply going to remove my stories and thank you all for your support. That is when I noticed that I still had my media files for some stories, like that next buttons and so on. I may attempt rewriting what I had at one point by longhand and typing it up here instead of the traditional copy/paste. I may not have new banners and all the “pretties,” but I can still publish stories. It just won’t be as visually pleasing to the eye.

I’m not one hundred percent sure as to what I will do. But I do know that it will be a while before I even attempt writing anything. I do plan (Ha! There I go again…plans) to try writing something short by longhand and typing it up here to see how it works. That makes me think of my first story, Reflections. I wrote that in a little spiral notebook, all 13,000 words by hand in pencil and typed it up on Word to send in for a contest. Nostalgia makes me smile. Irony does, too. Seems like I’m back exactly as I started, I just don’t have Word (or Photoshop), anymore. Maybe, just maybe it is a sign to go back to my roots. We shall see what the Universe will say, huh?

My goodness! If you have made it all the way here to the end, I sincerely thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say. I do have a couple more things to add, so bear with me.

First and foremost – to you lovely readers who’ve sent messages to me over the past year with words of encouragement, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words have meant the world to me.

To my friends who have been loving, kind and offered me words of wisdom, I thank you. You have been a blessing and made my world better.

To every single one of you that ever read my stories, left a review and have been patient with my hiatuses, I thank you.

My apologies for such a long winded post, I didn’t intend for it to be this long, but it is how it went. Thanks again for reading and have a good weekend!





A Sincere Message Of Thanks


To my lovely readers:

I do know that I’ve been silent quite awhile. I have been fighting my battle with depression and thought I was winning. I was finally, FINALLY seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. It was a nice feeling, to be honest.

Without going into too much detail, I will just bluntly say, “shit happens.” Now I feel as though I’ve been plunged back into the darkness once more. It is almost like I’m drowning and struggling to stay afloat.  Because of that, I can not see myself writing anymore. It was once something that ignited my creativity and I had a passion for it.

I’ve tried to reignite it, and it worked to a certain extent. Granted, I don’t think what I have is fit to be published, but its there in all its glory stored on Microsoft Word. Perhaps someday in the distant future I will edit what I have and hit that publish button. As of now, they won’t be seeing the light of day anytime soon.

You may wonder why. The short answer would be this, no matter how crudely put – Depression is a bitch of epic proportions. Certain events in my life this past year have only served to make it worse. My little family has had a couple of small crises that I’d rather not delve into here, and there have been other issues I’ve had to deal with. Needless to say, writing is the farthest thing from my mind. Not to mention I’ve now lost my zeal for it.

Some days, I felt like I was battling my demons and winning. I can’t say that is the case right now. It seems Mr. Depression is winning this round. Its taking everything I have to hold on for my husband and my son. I’m hanging by a thread at the moment, but at least its something.

So, with all that in mind, I have decided to put off writing for indeterminate amount of time. I have to focus on my little family and on myself. It is the only way I can see myself fighting off this depression. The decision is not an easy one as I know there are many of you who have been waiting for updates. I know I’ve let you down and I’m sorry. But for once in my life; I have to think of me.

I do want to thank each and every one of you who have read my stories, left a review, voted for me in a contest and/or sent me the sweetest PM’s, offering kind words of encouragement.  All of you have been like stars shining brightly onto the midnight blue sky for me. Your support has made me smile and sustained me in ways I could never express in words. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that someday we shall meet again!

Warm Regards,




You may or many not be wondering if I dropped off the face of the planet. Nope, I’m still here. Still undecided on whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing at the moment. Before I continue on, I have to profusely apologize for not getting my update to Second Chances up like I promised. I feel as though I’ve let you all down in that. Believe me, it has not been for the lack of trying…

My anxiety and depression kicked into high gear, and it made focusing on editing very tedious, especially when I saw the need to add some things to the chapter. Then, there was the matter of my two abscessed teeth. The pain was completely unbearable. They eventually had to be removed by an oral surgeon, along with two teeth near them. I’m still recovering from that and it should be completely healed up in about six weeks. They had to cut through the bone, and I tell ya…that is not fun at all!

The second thing I would like to mention is the Fanatic Fanfics Awards. Yes, I was nominated, though I did not place. Thank you from the bottom of my heart  to those who did vote for me and I offer  a sincere congrats to the winners!

Now I’ve got those two subjects out of the way, let me tell you my plans….First up, I will get back to editing part three of Second Chances and post it for you as soon as its done – I promise! After that, I plan to finish up my one-shots that are sitting there unfinished in my Microsoft Word docs (and maybe chapter four of Ties That Bond). Then, eventually get them edited and posted. I have to emphasize that I will have to go where the muse takes me, so I am unsure of what will be posted and when. I completely give up on trying to have a sensible schedule for posting. I’m sorry about that, but I can’t help it. I do thank you for your patience as you wait on my updates.

But….I can give you a glimpse of what is coming. Some of these may sound familiar because I’ve mentioned them before…

Shades of the Past – A TVD/Twilight crossover with our favorite blue-eyed vamp and like most all of my fics, he will be paired with Bella (Well, sorta). It will be more of  a flashback type of story where she reflects on her childhood and an old lover of her mother’s. Like many of my stories, it is AU and takes place after Edward breaks up with Bella. Its a little bit different style than what I’ve written in the past.

Love Don’t Live Here Anymore – An Angel(the series) and Twilight crossover featuring MY favorite broody vamp. Its a bit melancholy, with plenty of drama. Ultimately, it is a love story. The show is much darker in tone than Twilight, for those who aren’t familiar with Angel. I dare say, it is probably darker than TVD and the story reflects that. Its my aim to take the reader on an emotional journey along with Bella. With most of my fics, I tend to write in character and this story will be one of the few where some of myself seeps in.  I started writing it when the depression kicked in. You’ll notice it in the tone of the story.

A Kind of Magic – This is one you guys have been PM-ing about the most….Yes, its the Twilight/Charmed crossover with Chris and Bella as the pairing. I am halfway done with the second part of it, which I had to rewrite because the muse on that one wasn’t happy and I was half scared she’d blow me up, LOL (yes, its Piper). Again, this is AU and takes place during the events of Eclipse in the Twilight verse. I had to fudge the Charmed timeline  a bit to fit the story, though. This  is actually one of my favorite stories that I’ve ever  written  and hope y’all will love it as much as I do.

WARNING!!! The next one is a shocker….

It’s a Bella/Stefan story…..

Breathe…..relax…..take a sip of soda, coffee, tea, or whatever you have.

It sure shocked the hell out of me when that little plot bunny exploded in my head! I will admit that I am NOT Stefan’s biggest fan. That said, I wanted to challenge myself and write outside my comfort zone. The story is called Chances Are and takes place after season five of TVD and around three years after the events in New Moon. Its going to be one of my PG-13 stories because I can not imagine writing a lemon with Stefan, and we all know what a Mr. Goodie Two-Shoes he is. So, that means no blood baths either! If a sweet little romance piques your interest, then this is the story for you! I like what I have for it so far.

One shots are easier for me to write, and hopefully it’ll help me get back into the groove of writing. I have a couple other ideas and I’ll probably write those, too. Once those o/s are out of my head and published,  expect chapter updates to show up.

Hope you all have great weekend!




Hello, hello, hello!!

No, I am not channeling Adele or Lionel Ritchie, LOL….

Just a quick note to apologize for the delay in updating Second Chances. My son  was out of school for Spring Break last week, keeping me rather busy. I’ve  also been dealing with a terrible toothache. Went to the dentist and discovered I have two teeth that are abscessed. I am now on antibiotics, so the infection is starting to clear up and the pain is easing off a bit. That means I am back at my desk, editing. Finally!!

Now that is out of the way, I am pleased to announce that I have been nominated in four categories for the Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards. Its an honor to be included with so many fabulous writers! Voting will be open on April 11, 2016, according to their website. Please, take a moment and vote for your favorites. Writers like myself work very hard on our stories and get much encouragement when our readers/fans show their support. It means the world just to get a nomination! Below is a list of what I am nominated for.

1. Favorite Complete Fanfic – A Christmas Dream
2. Favorite Crossover Fanfic – Not Enough Time (Twilight/Vampire Diaries)
3. Favorite One-shot Fanfic – Against All Odds
4. Favorite Work -In-Progress Fanfic – Second Chances

If you would like to see a complete list of nominees, click here. Remember, voting starts on the eleventh. I would like to wish the best of luck to all the nominees!

Okay, I am back to editing – or as I like to call it, “Damonland.” 🙂 Have a happy Wednesday, folks! I’ll see you soon!



A Snippet With A Super-Size Side Of Thanks!

Hello Everyone!

The results of the Non-Canon Awards were announced last night. I am tickled to announce that I placed in two categories. I received second place (silver) for the Underdog award and my story, Spirits in the Mist placed third (bronze) for the Underfictionated.  I would like to take a moment to thank each and everyone of you that voted for me. It warms my heart knowing that people enjoy my writing the stories my crazy brain comes up with. So, Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I would also like to extend a heartfelt “Congratulations” to the other authors who placed in their categories! Way to go, everybody!! Below are my two banners. I thought it would be nice to share them with you.


Now, I do believe that I mentioned that I would give you a snippet of part three of Second Chances if I didn’t get a chance to finish editing it.  I know I am running behind on getting it published. For that, I am sorry. I have been really busy as of late and just haven’t had the time to get to it. The good news is that I am halfway done with the editing. I hope to get it posted before the end of the week. I appreciate your patience. The snippet I am sharing made me giggle as I wrote it and its one of my favorite bits. Remember, I may tweak a bit when I do the final read-through before publishing, but it’ll likely stay as is. Hope you enjoy….

The next morning, Bella was in her boyfriend’s bedroom haphazardly tossing clothes out of her bag, desperately searching for something to wear for a lunch meeting with Bonnie that Caroline had arranged. She wasn’t one that normally put much thought into what she should wear, but hearing from Damon just how judgmental the little witch was, she wanted the odds in her favor to make a good first impression. To say she was nervous would be a vast understatement – she was damned near petrified.

Damon stood at the threshold of the bedroom, his arms crossed wearing an expression of amusement. “You know, if you unpack…you just might find something…”

She turned her head to him with a glare upon her face, “When have I had the time? We just got here yesterday! We spent ages talking with Stefan and Caroline, not to mention…” she then cleared her throat with a smile, “our other activities.”

He sighed, walked over and removed the article of clothing from her hands. “You’re worried about meeting the witch, aren’t you?”

She grimaced, hating how he could read her so easily.

“It will be fine. You’ve already won over Blondie. Believe me, that’s a feat in itself. The only thing Bonnie will hold against you is that fact you’re with me, but that’s more about me than you. She’ll like you…then, she’ll tell you in a thousand and one ways how evil I am.”

She laughed, “I know how evil you are…”

He smirked, “And sexy, charming, irresistible…”

She laughed again and shook her head, “That you may be, but I know you’re also an ass!” She arched her eyebrows to emphasize her point before focusing her attention back to her bag and digging through it.

“What in the hell do I wear for meeting judgy little witches?” she muttered under her breath.

He bumped her aside with his hip, dug through the bag and pulled out a white sleeveless top, “Well, if you want to seem innocent and virginal…you wear this. But you’re not quite that pure, anymore.” He wiggled his eyebrows just as he tossed the shirt on the floor. “So…that one goes in the ‘no’ pile.”

He pulled out a flowy red tank top, “If you want to exude power and confidence… you wear this.” He then threw it on the bed. “That’s the ‘maybe’ pile.

He grabbed a black button-down shirt, “Now, if you want to be sexy and mysterious, you wear this.”

Bella snatched it from him, “Says the man that only wears black…”

She took another look at the shirt. “And you can almost see through that! I don’t remember buying that!!”

Damon chuckled, “No, you didn’t. But I did.” He then tugged at the neckline of her tank top and unashamedly peered down at her breasts, “You could just stay home and entice your boyfriend…”

Her cheeks turned scarlet as she gaped up at him, “Seriously?!”

“Hmm, hmm.” was the reply while scanning her lasciviously from head to toe.

She scowled at him, grabbed a pair of jeans from the bag, picked up the white shirt from the floor, and stomped off into the bathroom.

He threw his hands in the air with a grin, “I was only trying to help! Women these days!”

He jaunted out of the room, then made his way downstairs towards the liquor cart in the parlor.

“Sounds like you met your match.”

He snapped his head to the familiar voice of his brother and nodded. “Feisty little thing, isn’t she?”

Stefan smiled, “Yeah… I think she and Caroline hit it off last night and I wouldn’t be surprised if they got close.”

“What did you think of her?” Damon quietly asked.

“I like her. She’s beautiful, smart, kindhearted, and brutally honest. I have to say it – a much better match for you than Elena ever was.”

Damon said not a word, taking a sip of Bourbon. He wouldn’t voice it aloud, but Stefan’s opinion mattered to him and so did Bonnie’s. While he was glad Blondie had taken to his girl, he had some uncertainty about the witch. If he were to be completely honest, he was just waiting for someone to yell at him because he fell in love with another while Elena rest in a magical coma. The little group had criticized him before for far less than that.

“You’re apprehensive about her meeting Bonnie, aren’t you?” his younger sibling asked.

“Maybe a little…but I don’t think Isabella will put up with any of her judgy crap, or allow her to condemn me. I actually hope the witch likes her.”

“You never did go into detail about her past…” Stefan timidly commented.

“And that is HER story to tell, not mine.”  he bluntly retorted just as Caroline waltzed into the room.

Damon eyed the blonde, “Don’t pepper her with too many questions today. She’s been through a lot and if and when she wants you to know about it, she’ll tell you.”

“Okay…” she said with a nod just as Bella bounded down the stairs.  The conversation suddenly halted as they watched her enter the room.

“Gee, guys! You really need to get some lessons on how to not be so obvious you were talking about the person that just walked into the room!”

Damon snorted loudly as he draped an arm around her shoulders. Caroline giggled and Stefan just smiled.

“I love your outfit!” the blonde remarked.

Bella tugged at the black shirt she swiped from Damon’s closet, her cheeks tinting pink. She wore it knotted at the waist, along with some jeans and black ballet flats.

“So, you went for sexy and mysterious to meet Bonnie?” he said in a teasing lilt.

“Well, I’m pretty sure a McDreamy will show up at the bar and maybe I’ll want to impress him.” she stated flippantly.

He cocked a brow, “McDreamy?!”

Caroline burst into hysterical giggles, “You need to watch Grey’s Anatomy…and I think McAss suits you better!”

Bella covered her mouth, attempting to stifle her laughter while Damon stood there glaring at them both.

Unfazed by his demeanor, she batted her eyelashes playfully. “I love you…” she stated cheerily.

His eyes softened as he blew out a breath, “And I love you.”

“Awe! How sweet!” Caroline sarcastically said. “I have a toothache!”

 “Give me a nice, sharp, stake…” he sing-songed threateningly, “then I’ll make sure you have an ache in your heart!”

She blew off his comment and pecked Stefan on the lips, “Love you, but we got to get going.” She then faced Bella, “You ready?”

The petite brunette nodded, grabbing her purse. She was almost to the door when Damon loudly cleared his throat.

“Forgetting something?”

Her eyebrows puckered as she thought on it. “Uh…no.”  

He scoffed, “You know, two lips meet another set of lips…”

She smiled coyly, “Damon Salvatore, are you asking for a goodbye kiss?”

He blurred over to her and grabbed her butt, pulling her flush against him, “I’d want a hell of a lot more than a kiss, but I don’t think you’d want to put on a show for the kids…”

Bella’s cheeks turned a bright shade of red at his comment, Caroline scoffed and Stefan did not look amused. Before he could toss out another quip, she hastily kissed him on the cheek, then scampered out the door with Caroline trailing behind her.

Damon stood there with a goofy grin on his face as his brother looked over to him.

“You got it bad, don’t you?”

“Brother, unless you want me to rip off your ring and barbeque your ass in the sun, do not say that again!”

I hope you all are enjoying your weekend!




A Spirited Update

Hiya, my lovelies!

Chapter four of Spirits in the Mist is now published for your reading pleasure! I offer my apologies for how long it took me to get an update out. Hopefully, the chapter length makes up for it. At 7300+ words, it is the longest chapter of Spirits, yet. It is from Bella’s point-of-view and I have to admit I had a bit of a struggle with it. I find it much more difficult to write from her perspective. There were a couple of rewrites, only to have the power go out when I went back to edit the final draft. Word didn’t auto save my edits and I had to go back and redo them. Believe me, I was not a happy camper! I do think the chapter turned out okay, though. But I’ll leave that for you to decide. 😉 Don’t hesitate to let me know what you think!

Click the link or the picture below to take you to it!

Chapter 4: Stop and Smell the Roses




A New One-Shot, Against All Odds

I Think I may have mentioned it a while back that I wrote a story based on a song and as you can guess, the song is “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins. It is now published for you to read.

I have been inspired by music quite often when I write, but I’ve never based a story solely on a song itself. I’ve seen it done before and thought I’d attempt it. I considered it a writing challenge and I wanted to see if I could accomplish it. I would say that I succeeded, but the opinion of  whether it’s any good, I will leave up to you. I happen to like it, though…

Now you may question why I chose this song in particular. Well, it is my all time favorite song. I remember being a little girl waiting at a bus station to pick up someone with my mother when this song came on the radio. I may have been too young to understand the meaning of the lyrics, but the melody of the piano touched my very soul.  It is haunting and beautiful. As I grew up and experienced more about life and relationships, I begun to understand the meaning behind the words. I think Phil Collins really wrote something from the heart and you can hear it in his voice as he sings the song. It is just one of those songs that has always stayed with me.

The idea for the story itself came to me one day when I listened to the song and the opening scene and dialogue just came to my mind. From there the story grew and became what it is.

I truly do hope you enjoy it. Click on the banner below to take you to it.

Against All OddsFinal