I’m Still Standing…

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My Dear Readers,

I know it will be a shock to see a new blog post from me. Especially since it has been over a year since you’ve heard from me. I did not intend for my hiatus to be this long, I honestly didn’t. But as some of you may know, depression does not have a timetable. In December 2016, I was still in the midst of a depression cycle. There were some real-life struggles at the time with my little family that I do not wish to disclose. Though, I will say that even in the trying times; I could still see the light, and I truly believed I could withstand the storms. Let’s just say Hurricane Depression dropped down to a tropical storm.

Then after the New Year, a new storm hit. That my friends, I would compare to a category five hurricane. In fact, I was standing in the eye of the storm, my world calm and peaceful as chaos erupted all around me. Then the dark clouds came in, thunder roared and the rain washed me away. I will not go into details about what caused it, but I will say this: I was hurt deeply by people I loved dearly and lost them in the process. The pain was a lot to bear and when you mix that with depression, it makes one very dangerous cocktail. To say the least, I was not in a good spot.

I wanted to hide under the covers in my bed and wallow, I wanted to shut myself off from the world, I wanted the depression, the pain, and the sorrow to end. I wanted it to be over. I yearned for peace, yet the storm kept howling. I didn’t know if I’d survive this time. Yes, I know it sounds bleak, but that was my reality.

The night I wrote my blog post, I had a shattered soul. A small part of me wasn’t even sure if I would ever come back to writing, even though another part hoped I would. It took quite a few months for the pain to subside. Reading some stories, binge watching on Netflix, therapy, music, journaling, and tinkering in Photoshop helped a lot. It was then I saw glimpses of light. I also realized my anchor to this world was my son. My dear, sweet boy is the light of my life. His very existence is the reason I kept going, fighting the storms.

My husband deserves a lot of credit, too. He was an aircraft mechanic during his service to our country and what was broke, he fixed it. And that’s what he did with me. He took my shattered pieces and put them back together one by one. He tethered me to him during the storm and never once let go. Nor did he ever give up, even in moments I was so uncertain that I could wither the storm. He told me I could fight through it, that he loved me, that he was there for me, and made sure I took care of myself. Most of all, he believed in me and saw strength within me I didn’t know I had. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have him in my life. Though, I am damned glad I made that decision eighteen years ago to marry him. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I will be eternally grateful to him for being there “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.”

I battled Depression and to quote Elton John, “I’m still standing.” I made it through the storm. I may not be the same person I once was, some of the twinkle in my eyes may be gone but essentially I am me, again.  I don’t really share my personal life with the world, but I thought perhaps sharing my story would be beneficial to someone else that may suffer from depression so they know that there is hope – a light at the end of the tunnel, if you will. If you are reading this and suffer from depression, I sincerely hope you keep fighting. It is a battle worth winning. Please know someone out there believes in you and knows you ARE strong enough to withstand the storm.

Now, with all that said…..

The reason I am posting today is to tell you that I started writing again around October/November. I had three chapters of Spirits In the Mist done, two one-shots almost completed, and did some work on Not Enough Time & Ties That Bond.  I also started a couple new stories. Needless to say, I was quite proud of myself, and the ever-picky Mr. Muse was pleased.

Well….that came to a screeching halt on Friday afternoon. I was working on a story and left the computer to let the dogs out. We had a power outage and it fried my hard drive. I lost everything in Microsoft Word and in Photoshop. Hubby tried to reboot the computer and it didn’t even make a sound when he turned it on. We both sat staring at an ominous black screen. We tried a few things to get it going again, but nothing worked. It was beyond saving. I am completely devastated about it…all those hours of work just gone forever.

I got a new computer for Christmas, and was in the process of deleting stuff I didn’t need or want, so when we transferred files I wouldn’t have to worry about having crap I didn’t want on the new computer.  This weekend was going to be the weekend I planned to transfer everything to an external drive. Also planned to back everything up online.  Ha! Just goes to show you what happens when I make plans, LOL.

Since my computer no longer has Word on it, I have nothing to type and save a document with. Microsoft Office is a hundred and fifty bucks, OR you can get it as a monthly subscription. The Photoshop program is a tad expensive, too. My son just celebrated his sixteenth birthday, and we had a bash to celebrate. My wallet is quite a bit lighter after paying for the aforementioned bash and presents. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but unfortunately that means I can’t afford to have things like Word and Photoshop, right now.

I took the hard drive frying as a big, bright neon sign from the Universe to just give up on fanfiction. I had every intention of coming on here and announcing that I was simply going to remove my stories and thank you all for your support. That is when I noticed that I still had my media files for some stories, like that next buttons and so on. I may attempt rewriting what I had at one point by longhand and typing it up here instead of the traditional copy/paste. I may not have new banners and all the “pretties,” but I can still publish stories. It just won’t be as visually pleasing to the eye.

I’m not one hundred percent sure as to what I will do. But I do know that it will be a while before I even attempt writing anything. I do plan (Ha! There I go again…plans) to try writing something short by longhand and typing it up here to see how it works. That makes me think of my first story, Reflections. I wrote that in a little spiral notebook, all 13,000 words by hand in pencil and typed it up on Word to send in for a contest. Nostalgia makes me smile. Irony does, too. Seems like I’m back exactly as I started, I just don’t have Word (or Photoshop), anymore. Maybe, just maybe it is a sign to go back to my roots. We shall see what the Universe will say, huh?

My goodness! If you have made it all the way here to the end, I sincerely thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say. I do have a couple more things to add, so bear with me.

First and foremost – to you lovely readers who’ve sent messages to me over the past year with words of encouragement, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words have meant the world to me.

To my friends who have been loving, kind and offered me words of wisdom, I thank you. You have been a blessing and made my world better.

To every single one of you that ever read my stories, left a review and have been patient with my hiatuses, I thank you.

My apologies for such a long winded post, I didn’t intend for it to be this long, but it is how it went. Thanks again for reading and have a good weekend!

M4T

 

 

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Update, Update! Take A Chance & Read All About It!!

Hello There!

I am going to keep this short and sweet. There is an update to Second Chances! Yay me! I actually got it edited and published!!

But first…..

Now that is out of the way, I will tell you that the aforementioned update is almost 14,791 words. So get comfy, grab a snack and a beverage. 🙂  As usual, click on the banner below to take you to it.

Welcome To Wherever You AreHave a great weekend, y’all!

M4T

Hiya!

Hiya!

You may or many not be wondering if I dropped off the face of the planet. Nope, I’m still here. Still undecided on whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing at the moment. Before I continue on, I have to profusely apologize for not getting my update to Second Chances up like I promised. I feel as though I’ve let you all down in that. Believe me, it has not been for the lack of trying…

My anxiety and depression kicked into high gear, and it made focusing on editing very tedious, especially when I saw the need to add some things to the chapter. Then, there was the matter of my two abscessed teeth. The pain was completely unbearable. They eventually had to be removed by an oral surgeon, along with two teeth near them. I’m still recovering from that and it should be completely healed up in about six weeks. They had to cut through the bone, and I tell ya…that is not fun at all!

The second thing I would like to mention is the Fanatic Fanfics Awards. Yes, I was nominated, though I did not place. Thank you from the bottom of my heart  to those who did vote for me and I offer  a sincere congrats to the winners!

Now I’ve got those two subjects out of the way, let me tell you my plans….First up, I will get back to editing part three of Second Chances and post it for you as soon as its done – I promise! After that, I plan to finish up my one-shots that are sitting there unfinished in my Microsoft Word docs (and maybe chapter four of Ties That Bond). Then, eventually get them edited and posted. I have to emphasize that I will have to go where the muse takes me, so I am unsure of what will be posted and when. I completely give up on trying to have a sensible schedule for posting. I’m sorry about that, but I can’t help it. I do thank you for your patience as you wait on my updates.

But….I can give you a glimpse of what is coming. Some of these may sound familiar because I’ve mentioned them before…

Shades of the Past – A TVD/Twilight crossover with our favorite blue-eyed vamp and like most all of my fics, he will be paired with Bella (Well, sorta). It will be more of  a flashback type of story where she reflects on her childhood and an old lover of her mother’s. Like many of my stories, it is AU and takes place after Edward breaks up with Bella. Its a little bit different style than what I’ve written in the past.

Love Don’t Live Here Anymore – An Angel(the series) and Twilight crossover featuring MY favorite broody vamp. Its a bit melancholy, with plenty of drama. Ultimately, it is a love story. The show is much darker in tone than Twilight, for those who aren’t familiar with Angel. I dare say, it is probably darker than TVD and the story reflects that. Its my aim to take the reader on an emotional journey along with Bella. With most of my fics, I tend to write in character and this story will be one of the few where some of myself seeps in.  I started writing it when the depression kicked in. You’ll notice it in the tone of the story.

A Kind of Magic – This is one you guys have been PM-ing about the most….Yes, its the Twilight/Charmed crossover with Chris and Bella as the pairing. I am halfway done with the second part of it, which I had to rewrite because the muse on that one wasn’t happy and I was half scared she’d blow me up, LOL (yes, its Piper). Again, this is AU and takes place during the events of Eclipse in the Twilight verse. I had to fudge the Charmed timeline  a bit to fit the story, though. This  is actually one of my favorite stories that I’ve ever  written  and hope y’all will love it as much as I do.

WARNING!!! The next one is a shocker….

It’s a Bella/Stefan story…..

Breathe…..relax…..take a sip of soda, coffee, tea, or whatever you have.

It sure shocked the hell out of me when that little plot bunny exploded in my head! I will admit that I am NOT Stefan’s biggest fan. That said, I wanted to challenge myself and write outside my comfort zone. The story is called Chances Are and takes place after season five of TVD and around three years after the events in New Moon. Its going to be one of my PG-13 stories because I can not imagine writing a lemon with Stefan, and we all know what a Mr. Goodie Two-Shoes he is. So, that means no blood baths either! If a sweet little romance piques your interest, then this is the story for you! I like what I have for it so far.

One shots are easier for me to write, and hopefully it’ll help me get back into the groove of writing. I have a couple other ideas and I’ll probably write those, too. Once those o/s are out of my head and published,  expect chapter updates to show up.

Hope you all have great weekend!

Love,

M4T

Hello!

Hello, hello, hello!!

No, I am not channeling Adele or Lionel Ritchie, LOL….

Just a quick note to apologize for the delay in updating Second Chances. My son  was out of school for Spring Break last week, keeping me rather busy. I’ve  also been dealing with a terrible toothache. Went to the dentist and discovered I have two teeth that are abscessed. I am now on antibiotics, so the infection is starting to clear up and the pain is easing off a bit. That means I am back at my desk, editing. Finally!!

Now that is out of the way, I am pleased to announce that I have been nominated in four categories for the Fanatic Fanfics Multifandom Awards. Its an honor to be included with so many fabulous writers! Voting will be open on April 11, 2016, according to their website. Please, take a moment and vote for your favorites. Writers like myself work very hard on our stories and get much encouragement when our readers/fans show their support. It means the world just to get a nomination! Below is a list of what I am nominated for.

1. Favorite Complete Fanfic – A Christmas Dream
2. Favorite Crossover Fanfic – Not Enough Time (Twilight/Vampire Diaries)
3. Favorite One-shot Fanfic – Against All Odds
4. Favorite Work -In-Progress Fanfic – Second Chances

If you would like to see a complete list of nominees, click here. Remember, voting starts on the eleventh. I would like to wish the best of luck to all the nominees!

Okay, I am back to editing – or as I like to call it, “Damonland.” 🙂 Have a happy Wednesday, folks! I’ll see you soon!

Love,

M4T

A Spirited Update

Hiya, my lovelies!

Chapter four of Spirits in the Mist is now published for your reading pleasure! I offer my apologies for how long it took me to get an update out. Hopefully, the chapter length makes up for it. At 7300+ words, it is the longest chapter of Spirits, yet. It is from Bella’s point-of-view and I have to admit I had a bit of a struggle with it. I find it much more difficult to write from her perspective. There were a couple of rewrites, only to have the power go out when I went back to edit the final draft. Word didn’t auto save my edits and I had to go back and redo them. Believe me, I was not a happy camper! I do think the chapter turned out okay, though. But I’ll leave that for you to decide. 😉 Don’t hesitate to let me know what you think!

Click the link or the picture below to take you to it!

Chapter 4: Stop and Smell the Roses

 

Spirits4X0-

M4T

Happy New Year!

Hello Everyone!

I hope this post finds 2016 treating you well so far. I am sorry I haven’t posted lately, but I caught up in the holiday rush and really haven’t had a moment to really sit down in front of the computer other than  to check my emails and breeze through my newsfeed on Facebook.

The good news is that I started working on the next chapter for Spirits in the Mist yesterday. I am hoping to get that finished to edit, then will work on editing the next chapter of Second Chances. If I have time, I may try editing the first part of my Twilight/Charmed crossover. I really like that story and I am a bit anxious to get it posted to see what you think. Part two is halfway done, though I am unsure as to when I will finish it.

I have made it a New Year’s resolution to try and update my stories more often. There won’t be  a posting schedule, but I would like to try and aim for at least once a month, or on occasion, twice a month.  With my anxiety and other issues, I think that is a feasible goal. I am going to do the best I can to keep that resolution. Wish me luck and send some good vibes my way!

Be on the lookout for an update soon. I hope you had a very good holiday season and I wish you the best for the new year.

happy-new-year-2016-1

XOXO-

M4T

 

Take A Chance…

Bet you are wondering what I’m going on about. Well…. I have you know that part two of Second Chances is now published. It’s titled All That She Wants. Yes, it was named after the Ace of Base song. I truly hope you enjoy it! Just clicky-click-click on the picture below to take you to it!

All That She Wants-2Have a great weekend!

M4T