A Sincere Message Of Thanks

To my lovely readers:

I do know that I’ve been silent quite awhile. I have been fighting my battle with depression and thought I was winning. I was finally, FINALLY seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. It was a nice feeling, to be honest.

Without going into too much detail, I will just bluntly say, “shit happens.” Now I feel as though I’ve been plunged back into the darkness once more. It is almost like I’m drowning and struggling to stay afloat.  Because of that, I can not see myself writing anymore. It was once something that ignited my creativity and I had a passion for it.

I’ve tried to reignite it, and it worked to a certain extent. Granted, I don’t think what I have is fit to be published, but its there in all its glory stored on Microsoft Word. Perhaps someday in the distant future I will edit what I have and hit that publish button. As of now, they won’t be seeing the light of day anytime soon.

You may wonder why. The short answer would be this, no matter how crudely put – Depression is a bitch of epic proportions. Certain events in my life this past year have only served to make it worse. My little family has had a couple of small crises that I’d rather not delve into here, and there have been other issues I’ve had to deal with. Needless to say, writing is the farthest thing from my mind. Not to mention I’ve now lost my zeal for it.

Some days, I felt like I was battling my demons and winning. I can’t say that is the case right now. It seems Mr. Depression is winning this round. Its taking everything I have to hold on for my husband and my son. I’m hanging by a thread at the moment, but at least its something.

So, with all that in mind, I have decided to put off writing for indeterminate amount of time. I have to focus on my little family and on myself. It is the only way I can see myself fighting off this depression. The decision is not an easy one as I know there are many of you who have been waiting for updates. I know I’ve let you down and I’m sorry. But for once in my life; I have to think of me.

I do want to thank each and every one of you who have read my stories, left a review, voted for me in a contest and/or sent me the sweetest PM’s, offering kind words of encouragement.  All of you have been like stars shining brightly onto the midnight blue sky for me. Your support has made me smile and sustained me in ways I could never express in words. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that someday we shall meet again!

Warm Regards,

M4T

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8 thoughts on “A Sincere Message Of Thanks

  1. Take care of yourself and your family first. Everyone loves your stories. so we can wait for you when you are ready to give us another wonderful chapter or update to your stories. I hope you and yours have a Happy New year and hopefully this year will be better for you. Hope to see you writing again sometime.

  2. A lesson many of us don’t take to heart: we have to do for ourselves before we do for others or we won’t have a self to give to them.
    Well still be here when you return, just do what you gotta do in order to defeat the nasties one more time.

  3. Never never think that you have let us down and for “fucks sake” never ever apologise for needing time to heal yourself. Having the “black dog” present in my own life, I know the battle that you face trying to just breathe, live, laugh, love and cry each and every second. Your stories have brought happiness and pleasure to us (your readers and fans). Thank you for sharing what you have with us over the last few years, it has been a great pleasure. I hope that you find what makes you one with yourself again.Take care

  4. Don’t worry about writing right now. What is most important is you, take care of yourself and your family and I and I’m sure many of your fans hope that one day you can continue writing…but until then take care…my prayers are with you…until next time, big huggs.

  5. Where depression is concerned? Every day you rise, you win. Period. All else is gravy. You can’t expect yourself to stay in active combat mode at all times, hon. Sometimes you gotta grab a coffee/kid/pet, sit down, and enjoy the power of existence.

    I have faith that you’ll write when you’re ready, and it’ll just give me an excuse to reread your fantastic stories. Until then, hang on, babe, and give depression hell. Make it fight for you. The fact that you’re doing so means you’re winning – even when it’s lying to you and telling you that you’re not. (Carolina girls kick ass, sweets – never surrender.)

  6. I’m sorry you’re cycling. Depression sucks and is a constant battle. I hope for only good things to head your way and that you start to find something positive about each day, even if it’s that you did a load of laundry. Ps, that’s my own accomplishment for the day. Just don’t ever hesitate to reach out when you’re low. Take care of yourself.

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