To my lovely readers:
I do know that I’ve been silent quite awhile. I have been fighting my battle with depression and thought I was winning. I was finally, FINALLY seeing that light at the end of the tunnel. It was a nice feeling, to be honest.
Without going into too much detail, I will just bluntly say, “shit happens.” Now I feel as though I’ve been plunged back into the darkness once more. It is almost like I’m drowning and struggling to stay afloat. Because of that, I can not see myself writing anymore. It was once something that ignited my creativity and I had a passion for it.
I’ve tried to reignite it, and it worked to a certain extent. Granted, I don’t think what I have is fit to be published, but its there in all its glory stored on Microsoft Word. Perhaps someday in the distant future I will edit what I have and hit that publish button. As of now, they won’t be seeing the light of day anytime soon.
You may wonder why. The short answer would be this, no matter how crudely put – Depression is a bitch of epic proportions. Certain events in my life this past year have only served to make it worse. My little family has had a couple of small crises that I’d rather not delve into here, and there have been other issues I’ve had to deal with. Needless to say, writing is the farthest thing from my mind. Not to mention I’ve now lost my zeal for it.
Some days, I felt like I was battling my demons and winning. I can’t say that is the case right now. It seems Mr. Depression is winning this round. Its taking everything I have to hold on for my husband and my son. I’m hanging by a thread at the moment, but at least its something.
So, with all that in mind, I have decided to put off writing for indeterminate amount of time. I have to focus on my little family and on myself. It is the only way I can see myself fighting off this depression. The decision is not an easy one as I know there are many of you who have been waiting for updates. I know I’ve let you down and I’m sorry. But for once in my life; I have to think of me.
I do want to thank each and every one of you who have read my stories, left a review, voted for me in a contest and/or sent me the sweetest PM’s, offering kind words of encouragement. All of you have been like stars shining brightly onto the midnight blue sky for me. Your support has made me smile and sustained me in ways I could never express in words. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that someday we shall meet again!